Thoughts on climbing through poo

I was tasked with organising a ministerial event with less than 2 months on my hands. It started off as a collaborative effort but was later sort of “dumped” on me for reasons I shall not elaborate on.No point dwelling on why and what, I had to do it so I just focused on getting the job done.

You could say I was arrowed or stabbed in the back. I sweated and bled and it bloody hurt while I was desperately trying to pull out the darned weapon, but hey I was determined not to let it kill me. And it didn’t so I survived. But for a week or so I almost died. Trying to pull this gig together on my own, with my own frigging bare hands. I felt a bit like – What the hell? You left me in the effing ditch? I will effing crawl out and show you what I’ve got.

During the process I really took a bashing. People got in the way, saying unkind stuff and putting obstacles in my path. There was one particularly difficult day where I wanted to burst out crying in the office but managed to compose myself because my junior staff was there. (Ever seen your boss cry? No? Exactly. There’s a reason why.) When I got home I had a massive gastric attack that left me hyperventilating on fours. I went to bed at 8pm. I kept asking myself, is there something wrong with me? What could I have done better? Why are people so uncooperative? Should I change?

Then I stumbled upon this page (see below) in Tina Fey’s Bossypants, and realised: NO! Why should I be the one who must change? My work motto is I NEVER let people down and I will ALWAYS succeed. This is who I am and I’m sorry if you can’t keep up with my standards.

I’m proud to report that despite all the shit I had to go through, the event went really well. On the day I lost it a little bit (mainly at a guy who was just floating about aimlessly rather than getting on with what was being asked. I never understand what’s with people like that), but maintained composed throughout and even managed to fake a few smiles!

You know, looking back, although I really felt angry, betrayed and resentful while trying to pull this off on my own, I’m kinda glad I did it on my own with no one’s support. Because the credit’s all mine and nobody else’s. I had climbed out of the shithole using my sheer will, for there was no extended arm at the top.

Excerpt from Bossypants by Tina Fey, p. 144

“So my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When face with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. You energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

If the answer is yes, you have a more difficult road ahead of you. I suggest you model your strategy after the Sesame Street film piece “Over! Under! Through!”

If your boss is a jerk, try to find someone above or around your boss who is not a jerk. Again, don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions. Go “Over! Under! Through!” and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares?

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

Working holiday

A shiny new apartment block with luxury flats for sale sprouted up next to the bus-stop I get off for work. The Tesco’s I drop into every morning to grab a bottle of water had completely changed their store layout. My desk was moved into another office unit, so I am now in my third office in the same number of years I’ve been working here.

I felt single and childless when I was at work, just like how it was when I first started. It was a bit hard to imagine there REALLY was a 2-ft little man driving mad my shrivelled old man at home while I bashed out emails at my desk. I answered the occasional phone call, replied to my emails, chatted to colleagues at break, enjoyed an unhurried lunch. Oh my goodness, why didn’t anyone tell me work was really a holiday as compared to being a Mummy?

I ended my first day with a long, catch-up meeting with my line manager, who sat at the table to fill me in on all the updates over the nine months I’d been gone. It took three hours. When I first joined we were a five-people outfit, crammed in a tiny messy unit and we’d just been awarded this four-year million-pound government project. Three years on we occupy all the units on the top floor of the office block, got on our plate another million-pound government project, bullied/threatened the council into building extra toilets on our floor.

I felt rather overwhelmed at the end of my day. It felt like my first day all over again, except I already knew everybody in the office.

A day at the barn

We had a staff meeting yesterday at Amelia Trust Farm, a city farm some 20 minutes’ drive away from our office. It was an experience – we had particularly good free-range egg sandwiches, homemade cakes but the aroma of fresh manure wafting through the meeting room at regular intervals made it a bit unpleasant towards the end. Still, I love animals and nothing’s better than being able to get up close and personal with them!

The wheels on the cart go round and round, round and round!

Meet the farm cat with a cute bushy tail.

Lovely piglets  having an afternoon snooze. They all have little curly tails.

Lots of ewes and their fluffy white lambs.

Mummy and Baby 27 were particularly friendly.

So were these two hairy brown donkeys, who were going to get their winter coats sheared off!

There were lots of chickens running around the place. They lay wonderful tasting eggs – it’s true that happy chickens lay yummy eggs and farm eggs taste way better than those we get in supermarkets.

Violet pansies remind us that summer is on its way!

Are you OK?

The organisation I work for hosts a volunteer worker from a European country every year. The successful applicant comes to work with us through a one-year exchange programme. We contribute to his/her food, lodging and living expenses. In return s/he supports our projects and develop his/her own skills. Though they do not get paid, we have the same expectations of them as we do of full-time employees.

We have had a number of volunteers over the years and things did not always end nicely. The organisation is so flexible in so many ways that an entry-level employee may feel overwhelmed. For a start, there is little hand-holding. Many of the senior staff are too busy running around, attending meetings and getting their own work done, they can’t always be in the office to delegate and supervise work. So, it’s up to you to find work to do. Working hours are quite flexible and if you see a need to go or be based somewhere else, you don’t need to come into the office, but you have to be accountable for where you are.

After encountering problems with the previous volunteer, who felt she wasn’t supported enough during the time she was with us, my boss decided to put in place a mentor. This is not the line manager but someone who can listen to and support the volunteer to make sure s/he doesn’t feel left in the lurk.

Because I was the only one always so “kaypoh” enough to ask what was wrong whenever the previous volunteer left meetings in a huff and typed away angrily at her desk, I have been assigned to look after the new girl who arrive a few months ago. So I chat to her frequently to find out how she is adjusting to living in a new country, sharing a house with new people and working in a new organisation.

To be honest, I kinda enjoy this new role. I guess I do it because I have never really had a mentor to guide me and I know how tough it can be when you are young, inexperienced and scared. Sometimes you feel so small and alone when others zoom about in the office and nobody even notices you are there. Sometimes you have had a really shit day and just wish someone would stop shuffling their stupid papers, look up at you and ask, “Are you OK?”

I will always remember that at the end of my first day at work in the College, I was so overwhelmed I sat at my desk and sobbed. Later, I walked past a colleague who noticed I looked so distressed. She patted me on the shoulder and gave me an Almond Gold chocolate bar on her desk. I returned to my cubicle and ate the chocolate. It was the most delicious chocolate I had ever tasted.

So that’s what I have endeavoured to become. Ms “Are you OK?”. The one who passes the tissue to someone crying their heart out. The one who gives someone a chocolate bar when their paperwork looks a bit like Mount Everest and I can no longer see their face. The one who feels genuinely happy for someone when s/he learns something new or makes an achievement, instead of worrying s/he may soon be skilled enough to take over me.

I have learnt never to underestimate the power of those three little words and when uttered, how comforting or even thought-provoking it can be for someone. I have learnt we should for a few moments in our work day, stop worrying about our work, our life, our fats, our hair, our deadlines, our teeth, our targets. I have learnt to actually take a break and look around at the people I spend 35 hours a week in work with, and when need be, hand them a Kit-Kat and ask, “Are you OK?”

Hello, can I help you?

We are currently hiring people so today I picked up a call from a guy who wanted to know if his application has come in the post.

Me: What’s the name please?

Applicant: Surname is Smith.

Me: Hold on, let me check.

(After a few seconds)

Me: Sorry, I just checked with the HR coordinator and we haven’t received your application.

Applicant: I posted it earlier this week. I printed it off and filled it in by hand and sent it off.

Me: I’m sorry but we haven’t received it. Could you fill it in again and email it to us? The closing date is tomorrow.

Applicant: (Sighs loudly and sounding frustrated) Where can I get another copy of it?

Me: You can download it from our website.

(Spent a few minutes guiding him through the website)

Me: Alright?

Applicant: NO!

Me: You can’t find the information?

Applicant: IT’S NOT THAT! It’s the fact I have to do it all over again!

Me: Well look I’m sorry but I don’t run the postal service and I’m sorry it never got to us. But there is nothing I can do.

Applicant: I know, it’s not your fault but YOUR APPLICATION FORM IS SO LONG. Did you KNOW that?!

Me: Yes of course I do, I had to fill one in myself when I applied for this job.

Applicant: YEAH BUT YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT TWICE!!!!!

Me: The only thing I can suggest is you fill it in again and send it to us by midday tomorrow. That’s up to you whether you want to or not.

Applicant: Yeah alright, thank you.

Me: You’re welcome.

———————————–

Honestly if this was how you talk to your prospective employer, you may as well not bother about filling in the application form. His attitude stinks, he is rude, he doesn’t really want the job, he has TERRIBLE telephone etiquette and here comes the punchline.

He was actually applying to man a telephone helpline for youngsters.

Forget it, mate.

Castaway

I made a long arduous journey to West Wales yesterday to check out an Activity Centre we want to use for our youth camp in December. Once again it took me the best part of the day to get to and from the place on the train and bus. Some parts of my journey were scenic, especially when I was travelling along the coast. But the weather was so cold and the skies so grey and I really wished I was in the office rather than out and about.

I didn’t have time to eat lunch till 4pm when I bought a sandwich on the train back and ate it while I shivered. The air-conditioning instead of the heating was on but I was too tired to tell the conductor. I fell asleep with my scarf and coat on, with my gloved hands tucked into my pockets. It was raining, dark and windy outside and not particularly warm inside.

But during that 20 minutes I napped, I felt warm, safe and contented.

On the go

I had such a long day on Monday. I started the day at 0615 and didn’t get home till 1945. Half that time was spent travelling- 3 hours each way to mid-Wales for a conference we organised. Going there was the fun part. My colleague drove and part of our journey involved going up and down through the mountains, dazzling in rich autumnal gold at this time of the year. The views at the top, overlooking the valleys, were especially stunning. Pity about the sheep though – there weren’t really any to be seen. Plus, it was bloody freezing.

Off on the train again

Work brought me to Crosskeys today, just at the edge of the Welsh Valleys, to promote the youth website.

How wonderful if you could open your windows and see beautiful green hills and mountains.

These balconies look out of place. They look like they belong near a beach.

One last look at the mountain before I head for home.

Minding my own business

On Friday I finally ended my 12th day of non-stop working and boy was I glad.

Last weekend was sheer madness with us organising a trip to North Wales with 18 young people. We picked them up from their towns all over Wales and the journey on the bus took nine hours.

We had young people aged 14-22 of different backgrounds and abilities, coming together to work on a youth information and advice website. It was something like mixing some ITE kids with others from JC, polys and secondary schools.

There was some good discussion going on and real enthusiasm shown when we were doing the workshops, but we saw the “ITE” equivalent of participants getting bored, disengaged and wandering off.

To get any information out of them required such a big effort and all they cared about was running off for cigarettes or how to sneak out to get alcohol. They ran off to town one night and we had to drive out to hunt them down. There was also a group of girls who moaned incessantly about everything, there was a boy who wouldn’t eat and there were squabbles which we had to resolve.

To make things worse, there were even problems with staff. There were some support staff members who were unclear about their roles and in their haste to help, appeared arrogant or even to be stepping over us. And then one of our drivers got the rented car damaged in a minor accident and that sparked off another series of issues.

When I came home all I wanted to do was to finish my bottle of Baileys in record speed, but I fell asleep instead after dinner. I’m just so glad to be able to enjoy this weekend in peace. Even though I was kept busy with errands, at least it’s only my own things I need to worry about.

Boss on wheels

This is why I love the place I work at. This is my CEO. Carrying our heavy photography equipment on his bike to a youth centre for our workshop. Zero pretence. No airs. Proof that you don’t need to drive a Merz to gain respect. If we have issues, we trash it out and move on. That’s the way I like to work.