Archive for May 2011

Things they don’t tell you when you become a mother…

May 20, 2011
  1. You forget the pain of childbirth once you see your baby.
  2. You finally understand what boobs are really for.
  3. If you were a control freak, you will develop patience and learn to go with the flow.
  4. If you were very messy, you will learn to become organised.
  5. It is okay to choose napping over doing the dishes.
  6. It is normal that your house looks like it has just been robbed.
  7. You will succumb and let your baby sit in front of the telly with his meal.
  8. You will become one of those mothers you use to tut at for letting her kid smear food all over the face and clothes.
  9. Childbirth gives you superpowers so you suddenly no longer need a lot of sleep and you can now eat very fast.
  10. You begin to visit shops with the best bargains on nappies, milk powder, baby food.
  11. You actually NOTICE such bargains.
  12. You will want to give up work for a while. Suddenly careers are not so important.
  13. If you never used to cook, you will be motivated to start now.
  14. You only go to restaurants which are children-friendly.
  15. You mustn’t stop being you just because you are a mum.
  16. Don’t try to do everything if it means you’d end up tired and depressed.
  17. Mummies don’t have all the answers and they make mistakes too.
  18. Don’t feel guilty toward your child if you have already tried your best.
  19. Kids don’t care what jobs you do and how much you earn, they love you for who you are.
  20. You need time to yourself.

Post

May 18, 2011

Nothing makes me happier than receiving wedding invites. This one’s from M&J. Cheongsams, Tuxedos, Shangri-La Hotel. Need I say more? I’m excited already.

Unexpected gifts from friends I haven’t seen or spoken to in a LONG, LONG while are extra special and really do make my day. I’m absolutely loving my Peter Rabbit pot mats and spatulas from A&C in Hong Kong.

And the best is always receiving letters from my closest girlfriends. I normally rip the envelope apart in excitement. (see example above). This time, I received plain black Muji hair bands and glittery ones too from Miss S! It’s wonderful isn’t it, when your girlfriends know EXACTLY what you love. I think I can die happy now.

Dress

May 17, 2011

I did something out of character yesterday. I went out and bought an item of clothing at full price instead of trawling through the sale bins. Because I thought what the hell, I earned the moolah! And second, it was a day worth celebrating because I finally got £300 back from a person who owed it to me for over a month. I walked into Warehouse and just grabbed this bright pink shift dress from the racks without even trying it on. I had 5 minutes before I needed to catch my train. It was a completely impulsive buy but I love how it fits me!

I’m now eyeing this awesome yellow one-shoulder obi dress. Now if only I had a wedding to go to, I’ll have a proper excuse reason to get this. I have developed a thing for dresses. They are the only thing I wear these days, because I haven’t got time to coordinate separate pieces of clothing.

Keep your word

May 16, 2011

How important is it to keep your word?

I have discovered through my humble life experiences that not many people actually deliver what they promise, and I’m really interested to investigate why.

Because I’m quite sure this is a value which is held in relatively high regard (up there with being honest and polite etc) and taught to children across cultures, races, nationalities.

But why do so few people actually keep their word?

It could be something simple like, “Oh I’ll give you the document tomorrow!”, and it never makes it to my desk, or “I’ll pay you the money next week.”, and nothing happens until I have to threaten to take court action or something more hardcore like, “We will listen to your views and allow freedom of expression.” and then you still end up going to jail for saying the wrong stuff.

I just think the world would be a simpler and happier place when people actually MEAN what they say. It’s dead easy. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

When someone asks me to do something, whether it is in or out of a work context, I normally finish it by the promised date/time. OK fine, I may not be 100% on time all the time, but I would say it is only on very rare occasions do I miss a deadline or forget to do the task.

I’m not saying I’m perfect.

I’m just thinking if it’s worth giving a damn when so few others do.

Walk walk walk

May 11, 2011

I am getting fat and I haven’t got time to hit the gym regularly so I have decided to walk to work from the train station.

Normally I take a bus which costs me £2 (S$4) for a return trip. But I realise I spend so much time sitting down. I sit down when I take the train to Cardiff, I sit down when I take the bus to the office, I then sit at my desk in the office for 7 hours. No wonder I have an expanding waistline!

I did my calculations the other day and found out that walking to work will give me 1 hour’s exercise a day (30 minutes each way), save me £2 per day and in a month that would translate into a saving of £24 (I go to the office 3 days a week).

It’s not a massive saving, but think about it. £24 can buy me a new dress/bag/shoes each month, so I can have 12 new dresses/bags/shoes a year. Or if I saved £24 each month, I would have £288 at the end of a year, which can pay for a nice little holiday somewhere.

Sometimes we just don’t realise the impact of just one small change to our lifestyle.

Well I’m going to keep walking for now (burn fats not money!), until further notice.

Mummy notes

May 3, 2011

I think being a mother is a truly humbling experience.

You realise how little you know, how powerless you really are, how much you have to be responsible for, how quickly you need to think on your feet, how silly you have to be, you learn to pick your battles, you discover how much you have learnt, you develop skills you never dream of associating yourself with, you surprise yourself by doing things you never thought was possible, you begin to think and behave so differently as if someone has pop a pair of glasses on you to alter your vision.

It is a real test on multiple levels. It is a test of character, love, endurance, patience, marriage.

You could be the world’s best athelete, the future Queen, the First Lady, the most highly-paid actress, a top female politician, a Nobel Prize winner, the leader of of a global conglomerate, a world expert on finance, economics, science, biology, nuclear physics… you name it.

But when you first become a mother, you start from ground zero. Yes you could be better educated and informed than a country peasant, but you will both begin the journey on the same mark.

I think that does put things into perspective, because it reminds you that hey, you know what? You may be good at what you do now but when it comes to the one thing human beings are born to do, you have a lot to learn!

I have changed so much since getting married and having a kid. When I was living at home, I never had to lift a finger to wash my clothes, make my bed or prepare a meal.

Now I cook rice congee (what an auntie thing to do!) for my son everyday, drive us to the supermarket to get groceries, prepare my husband’s meals, do most of the washing up and laundry, plus I have to go to work. I get up at 0630 every morning and I’m on the go till 2000 when Lucien goes to sleep. I still wake up a few times a night to make a bottle for him and have to get through the day with two coffees.

If I was somebody else looking at my life, I would say I wouldn’t be able to do it. But when you are living the life, somehow you find the strength and resources to manage. This is why having a supportive husband and family really helps.

When I was playing with Lucien one afternoon, I was suddenly transported back to my days as a postgraduate student in Cardiff. I cooked and ate on my own, I woke up at whatever time I wanted, I watched DVDs every night and sometimes I wondered what I could do with my free time.

Then I asked myself, do I miss those days? Do I miss the freedom?

Strangely, I don’t.

Even when I now find it a struggle to squeeze in time to phone my family, do something for myself, run some errands, and I never get enough sleep, I don’t really want to go back to those days when I open my eyes and think, hmmm now what?

You feel different when life has a purpose, when you have a role to play, when you have someone to love and care for, and a beaming smile to look at every day.

Having a family puts a new perspective on things. You realise that everything else is secondary.

Oh shit!

May 2, 2011

I have never been so happy to see shit. When I opened Lucien’s crappy nappy yesterday morning and saw the soft, brown muck, I was overjoyed.

That’s because for days before that, changing Lucien’s nappy often involved us doing a desperate run with him to the bathtub to get the watery diarrhoea running down his legs cleaned up, then mop up the mess he made on the floor and clean his soiled laundry in a 60C hot wash.

He started having diarrhoea and vomiting on Good Friday and on Saturday he was so feverish, drowsy and unwell that we brought him into A&E. They were very busy and we waited three hours to be seen. Hanging around a jam-packed waiting room with a whinging, throwing up baby made every minute seem like years.

Finally when we got to see the doctor, all she did was to give him some baby paracetamol and watch him down some water. They were pretty unsympathetic and did nothing more to treat his symptoms because they said he would eventually get rid of the bug on his own. I wish I’d known that so I wouldn’t have wasted my time taking him in.

So anyway, for a week or so, there was a lot of diarrhoea but thankfully not so much vomiting, a lot of soiled clothing and bedding to launder, a lot of mess on the floor to clean up, a lot of whinging and moaning. Lucien lost his appetite and we didn’t dare give him too much to eat anyway for fear it would make things worse. So he became very tired and weak and was attached to our hips all the time, rather than play on his own like he normally would. He wasn’t interested in his toys, had no energy to crawl or walk and cried a lot. Oh my god, those times were hard.

Yes, so now you know why I was so ecstatic on the morning I opened Lucien’s nappy and saw normal shit instead of the usual yellow water that greets me with a foul stench.

Never thought there would come a day when poo could make me happy.

Says a lot about being a mother, doesn’t it?