Who am I?

You know, when you stop and dwell about things, you get tearful and upset. Well, for me at least. That’s why I prefer to get on with stuff and try not to delve too deeply into how things are for me at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m good. Nothing bad’s happened. Apart from the fact I feel exhausted and I don’t really have any time to myself. Yes I do maybe, but I’m usually too exhausted to do what I want to do when I have a free moment or two.

We were just having a chat in the car, my husband and I. I said I had a difficult day with Lucien. Life is now very different. I don’t really recognise me. Who am I and what have I done with me? His reply was, you have become Mummy.

Some nights I just lay there thinking of my family whom I haven’t seen in 7 months. My frail, poorly grandmother and the days she used to be well and strong. When she used to cook up a feast for 20 people. Sometimes I worry that when I get up in the morning and look at my phone there will be a text to inform me she has died.

Other nights there will be a whole load of other of other stuff on my mind as I lie in bed. Job, money, parenting, the future.

This year so far has been very tough.

Explore posts in the same categories: Drama, Family, Life, Relationship

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