Archive for October 2011

A cup of tea

October 2, 2011

Yesterday evening, I left Lucien watching telly in the living room and went out to the backyard to retrieve my clothes from the drying line. When I returned, Lucien walked towards me precariously holding my ceramic mug by its ear. I had placed half a mug of lukewarm tea on top of a chest of drawers before I left the room. “What had he done to my tea?” was the first question that entered my head but the answer was a no-brainer.

I calmly coaxed him into handing over the mug because if he had dropped it on the slate floor, he would have broken it and might have gone on to hurt himself. With the mug safely in my hand, I walked into the living room to assess the damage. There was tea all over the carpet, splashed over his books which were strewn on the floor. He had stepped all over the wet patches and had soaking wet socks. All the pages of the books began to stick together.

At that point I was really overcome with fury. I have had Lucien for 15 months and I think that was the first time I ever got so angry. It was the end of the day and I was really tired. I left the room not to do something frivolous but to collect my laundry from the line. I had only stepped out for a few minutes and he had wrecked the room. I had spent all weekend looking after him on my own while R did double shifts. Why couldn’t he just cooperate and made things easier for us all?

I cursed and swore as I scrubbed the carpet. I was seething with anger as I gave him a quick bath, fed him his milk and put him to bed. For the first time ever I did not not say goodnight to him as I put him down. I just completely lost it. I went to clear out the bath, went downstairs to put all his frigging toys away, attempted to clean the carpet again, did the dishes then decided to give up and have my dinner.

At 9:30pm, I didn’t even wait for R to come home. I climbed into bed and promptly fell asleep. I remained there till 9:00am this morning and felt so refreshed. I couldn’t believe I was able to have almost 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Maybe it was Lucien’s way to say sorry.

But sometimes I do wonder: why the hell did I want kids? Today, I learnt my lesson and had my cup of tea in the kitchen, behind the baby gate away from terribly naughty little boys.