Culling


It’s funny. People whom once treasured you as a friend and had gone all the way out to do nice things for you can just suddenly drift away. Last year alone, I have had three such experiences. No, I haven’t done anything to offend them. I think people just move on.

Some friendships last ONLY because of close proximity and frequent face-to-face contact. They do not stand the test of time nor distance. On the other hand, I have so many friends whom I have not seen for years and yet there is always a card from them on every special occasion. Always an email or phonecall out of the blue. I always get to know how they are and what they are up to.

So I have stopped trying. Trying to reach out to “friends” who don’t respond to my efforts to stay in contact. Or make no effort to get in touch with me. Obviously they have other things to occupy their time with and I am probably not on that list. Which is fair enough. Years ago I would have kept trying. Because I am hopelessly loyal. The kind of person that once you are my friend, someone who means something to me, my greeting cards will be there in your mailbox year after year until I draw my last breath.

But then I realised how tiring walking on this one-way street is. Shouldn’t friendships or any relationships be reciprocal? What will happen if I don’t knock on your door?

No I don’t blame them. People change and have other priorities. While we used to have something in common, perhaps now there is nothing to bind us together. Perhaps they are now too busy. And so I let go of them. The number of Christmas cards I sent down this year shrank, I deleted some people on Facebook and no, I don’t feel guilty about the culling.

We only live once so it’s more important to (a) make decisions which lessen your burdens and make you happy and (b)  spend our time and effort on people who ACTUALLY care, enough to shout hello once in a while.

Explore posts in the same categories: Friends

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