Keep it burning


The truth is we had forgotten what it was like to be a couple. For the past six months, all our attention had only been on one person. Lucien. Our days, hours and minutes are preoccupied with caring for him. And when we are not looking after him, we are talking about him. We have very little time to ourselves. Yes, we see each other everyday, and spend lots of hours together, but we don’t do anything as a couple. Very often, at the end of the day, I am so exhausted that I can barely stay awake beyond 9pm. When R gets home from work, he is tired too. We don’t even get to watch an hour of telly together, snuggle in bed or just chill out and talk nonsense. Forget about movie or dinner dates.

No, don’t get me wrong. We love each other but I could feel we were slowly drifting from lovers to companions and quite frankly, losing the spark which gave us the baby in the first place. But I suppose this is a natural phase that new parents go through. I mean, how can romantic feelings stir in anyone when a baby’s crying in the background, your hands are covered in baby poo or sick and the house is littered with baby paraphernalia? How can a woman feel sexy when her body’s being used to provide food, she has a horrible scar at her bikini line and she hasn’t quite lost all that extra weight? How can desires arise when we are sleep-deprived, the house is a complete mess and the baby’s sharing the same room?

It’s been six months since Lucien arrived and recently it got to a point where I felt something had to be done. We were rapidly losing the plot. On a whim, I arranged for my mother to have the baby for the afternoon and I planned a surprise. I booked a hotel room for the day, headed out to town as normal with R, told him we should split to run our individual errands and meet at a later time – at the shop just outside the hotel. When he appeared, I got a helpful passerby to pass him an envelope while I quickly sneaked up to the room. It was all very dramatic. He entered the room with the keycard I placed in the envelope, all touched and excited about the surprise and we spent the afternoon in bed. In peace. In each other’s arms, watching the BBC news, babbling and bickering, having coffee and cookies, reading the papers, then heading out to the shops and back again for a lie-down.

We reconnected. We found each other again. We relished those few hours where it was just US. We didn’t have Lucien at the back of our minds. We were physically, mentally and emotionally in tune, enjoying each other’s company. It ended up as a very rare and special day for the both of us. It evoked fond memories and reignited the passion we had for each other. We rediscovered what it’s like to be a couple again, and realised what it takes to keep this relationship going strong. We learned not to be complacent.

Just because we have become parents doesn’t and SHOULDN’T stop us from being lovers. It is SO EASY to let the fire die out. What an important lesson this has been.

Explore posts in the same categories: Drama, Family, Relationship

One Comment on “Keep it burning”

  1. J Says:

    This has to be the most romantic love snippet ive read in a long while…..


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