Sleepless thoughts


When he’s asleep and it all goes quiet and I turn the light out, I lie down and try to get some rest. But my mind is a whirl. There are too many things to do and think about. Looking after Bean is manageable only because my mother is here to help me out. But she will be gone in a month. How will I cope on my own for a couple of weeks before we fly home? I haven’t sorted out his passport, nor gotten our air tickets. They are so expensive! I desperately would like to go away for a few days’ break. Can I leave him with my mother? His crying is peaking this week and he gets so wound up in the evenings. Should I take the full 9 months’ maternity leave instead of half a year as originally planned? But will we have enough money to get by? With the way things are now I don’t think I can go back to work full-time but everyone’s telling me things WILL get better as he gets older. Will they really? Oh I need to get more sterilising tablets and a new bottle brush. When he cries, what EXACTLY is he crying about? How do I know? How can I soothe him better? I need to register him at the GP. I need to arrange to do a thyroid function test for myself. I have to see the dentist again to get a permanent filling for the tooth which caused me problems during pregnancy. Oh and I need to pick up my tablets from the pharmacy. Geez I can’t wait to discontinue the iron tablets prescribed to me after my surgery; they make me constipated. And before I know it it’s time to get up again and feed the hungry hippo.

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