It takes two


A few people have been asking me, “So how does it feel like to be married?”I have been replying, “Not much different from before, really, except I suppose if I want to have a baby, I now CAN!”

Well to be honest it was strange the first couple of days. On my wedding night I broke down, because it felt like I had almost “betrayed” my family and now “belonged” to this man. I wasn’t sure after our night’s stay at The Sentosa Resort & Spa if I was allowed to return home, or head back to my Mum’s other apartment in Pasir Ris. In the end my Mum said it was OK for me to come home so I did and was glad to see everyone.

My Mum and I opened and counted all the red packets and we decided to donate S$1,000 to the Buddhist Free Clinic. I gave her S$700 to get a new washing machine. And the rest pretty well went straight to pay for my visa application. Over 5 friends donated at least S$500 to the various charities we’ve nominated, which really made R and I so happy.

It took a few days for reality to sink in and for us to get to terms with our “updated status”. In Hanoi, R forgot and referred to me as his “girlfriend”, though toward the end of our holiday we’d finally gotten used to addressing each other as husband and wife.

When we came home from our honeymoon, my Mum thought I should stay with R at her flat instead of sleeping at home. We would come around for dinner each night, and then afterward my grandmother and my Mum kept on shooing me back to my place.  It felt so odd to leave each night when all my clothes and cosy bed were upstairs in my room.

But things are very much the same back here in Wales, as we’ve already been living together since November last year. We still sleep in the same bed, go about the same routines, talk in the same way, pay the same share of bills, wind each other up crazy like we always do and kiss each other good night every night. I’m actually glad we tried to live together before we got married, because it allowed us to iron out a lot of issues during our first few months, which meant we didn’t have to deal with any rude shocks when we began our married life.

The only more noticeable difference I suppose is things are now about US, and no longer about YOU or ME. It’s OUR future plans and not my or his plans. I can feel that our actions now have a direct impact on each other, so we can’t just go ahead and do something if we want to like before.

Being married has brought us closer to each other’s families, and my mother’s even planning to go on a trip with us to Bangkok next February. That, in just a year ago, would have been something outrageous and unheard of. My in-laws have made me feel very welcome to the family. My mother-in-law gave us a very generous gift of £500 and my sister-in-law got us a garden table set.

One day on my way home I thought about my new status, realising I have now officially taken myself off the market and am no longer single and available. Well, to be fair it wasn’t like I was actively dating loads of different men before but you know, it was a sudden realisation that now that’s not even an option. That stirred up some weird emotions in me for a few moments but after that I hadn’t even thought about it again.

I have better things to do. Like going to the gym, eating heathily, taking my daily doses of folic acid and calcium tablets, you know, start looking forward to what many married couples look forward to.

Explore posts in the same categories: Health, Life, Relationship

6 Comments on “It takes two”

  1. Jessica Says:

    It took two years to sink in…for me, anyway…the whole “married” thing…

  2. thelastsparerib Says:

    I constantly forget that Luke and I are not actually married yet! Domestic bliss is exactly that 🙂

  3. thelastsparerib Says:

    This is Annabel, by the way.

  4. tintedglasses Says:

    Your nickname is so cute! Who had the last spare rib? Yes I suppose being married is about being in it together now as cheesy as it sounds, through thick and thin, building our own family, committing a lifetime together, and when you think about it, it’s just so much more than just living together.

  5. izchan Says:

    lived with my wife for 4 years before we got married.
    Have spent so much time together that I forgot that I was NOT married.
    the kinks as you call it are part of the ritual.
    Eventually it always iron itself out.
    Or it ends it before it got beyond the line.

    So yeah.
    Congrates.
    and good mating.

  6. tintedglasses Says:

    I think it really helps to live together before getting married. Especially if none of you have ever lived away from home before. We may not realise it but sometimes our habits can make it hell for our partners. So yeah, I’m all for cohabitation!


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