Health woes


These days, I am expert enough to know if my thyroid condition is improving or worsening without even going through the blood test. I simply feel it. And recently, things are not good.

I’ve been feeling more and more tired, to the extent that I have difficulty staying awake in the day. And I have a strong hunch that the reason behind the deterioration is linked with my emotional well-being. 

The recent intense emotional episodes at home and at work could very well have worsened my condition. Afterall, many studies have shown a connection between stress and auto-immune diseases like hypothyroidism.

I feel stressed and upset very easily. It doesn’t help that I am a perfectionist with high expectations of everything. Even my supervisor has pointed this out to me as my weakness. I also get very affected by unkind behaviour and words.

But I’ve been thinking a lot about the comments people left on my site and I am really thankful that they’ve shared their perspectives. For example, Zatfee compared managing students to managing relationships, and I think that’s so true. I need to recognise that not all relationships will blossom and I should stop blaming myself or them if we do not hit it off.

Jeano said that I should choose my battles as I can’t fight them all. I have heard this theory many times. Even my own mother dispensed this advice – reach out to those whom you can reach out to. But I’m so over-achieving. I believe I can reach out to every single one if I tried hard and long enough. Yes that may happen, but I would have at the same time die of exhaustion.

There was a time when I first started teaching where I was super uptight. Then last term I felt myself slipping. I just didn’t do much for the kids. And this term I decided to start afresh. Put rules and routines in place, make an effort to listen to them and use different strategies to interest them.

Life is all about balance. It’s about knowing when to pull or loosen the reins. It’s about keeping emotions in check. Sad to say, I am at this point, extremely unbalanced.

Because of that, I’ve stopped hoping or praying that my condition will improve. I believe it will stabilise eventually after this phase, where I’d once again learn to embrace a healthy frame of mind.

Explore posts in the same categories: Health, Life

8 Comments on “Health woes”

  1. Jeano Says:

    babe, don’t be discouraged by how you’re feeling. It can be overwhelming but do allow yourself to withdraw for a while. It’s just the ebb and flow of life. Recognise that all things are temporary, especially the bad stuff. I know things like “pick your battles” sound like such platitudes, but what i really mean is to learn which kind of battles to fight. It’s not so simple, and it’s different for everybody. I find it very hard to select my battles actually! It’s sometimes almost like groping in the dark. for example, the first battle i recognised was not to dislike any student, no matter what. Once i decided that I AM gonna make an effort to like every kid in my class, i found it easier to relate to them and handle them individually, no matter how bratty, aggressive or disruptive they are. Honestly, I had no idea what to do or how to do it. but once i won that first battle, everything seemed just that little bit easier.

  2. Jeano Says:

    I am so grateful that you have offered me such isightful advice during my lowest period and i hope you will now give your friends a chance to support you when you need it. don’t be like me and simply wait for it to go away (you know it doesn’t work that way). Painful though it may be, it takes active willingness, not resignation, to rise above it.

  3. ZatFee Says:

    If life is simple and straightforward,how nice!! Fortunately, ife is complicated and full of twists and turns, shocks and surprises, failures and successes, goodness and nastiness … I so agree with Jeano … active willingness is what makes us rise above and grow … it’s a chicken and an egg thing … what comes first? … our physical illnes makes us cranky or our emotional state that causes our body to respond accordingly? Why are words unkind? Whose state of mind are we dealing with? Does truth really hurts? Why do what people say affect us so? What is our state of mind? Why does everything seem to be coming or rather pouring all at once? What is the reason behind all these happenings? Is the world really against us? How are we handling things?

  4. sharon Says:

    hey babe, not every battle has to be fought like a war. sometimes, not reacting can be a form of fighting too. taking things slow, not allowing situations and people to affect you & responding only when necessary is a strategy on it’s own. like you always tell me, you have to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of other concerns.

  5. tintedglasses Says:

    Hey friends! Thanks for all your insight, your phonecalls and SMSes over the New Year! A little disclaimer though. Don’t let me mislead you into thinking you contributed to my worries and frustrations. They are purely classroom and family related.

    I am blessed to know so many people care and love me. This blog is my playground, my safe haven where I can come to vent my frustrations and verbalise my unhappiness. A place where I can moan, grumble, laugh, cry, celebrate, grieve, be myself. It’s in here where you see the real me, where I bare all.

    I know you are all concerned about me, but please don’t feel that you have to offer solutions whenever you read that I’m having a down period. Please don’t misunderstand that I write because I want sympathy or help. I write to vent, to whine. To talk to myself so I can see clearer. To remember certain events in my life.

    I’d be very happy if you could show love and support by standing quietly next to me. Not saying a word yet making me feel safe knowing you are close by. I just need some time to regroup so I can bounce back again. Don’t judge me. I am not “waiting for it to go away” or “rejecting your support”. I am not “resigned” or “unwilling”.

    I am coping in my own way, learning as I go. Slowly but surely, I am understanding everything you are saying. Sorry if I’ve hurt or offended anyone during this time.

    Having some space would really help. Thank you for your love, tolerance, generousity and patience. Thank you for not giving up on me.

    I believe I am lucky.

  6. melissa Says:

    Babe you have changed so much and despite having high expectations and wanting to be a perfectionist, you have definitely learnt to take some things with a pinch of salt, and in your stride. To me at least.

    The four of us have known each other for awhile now and we’ve seen each other through some very tough times. We’ve also seen each other grow slowly but steadily and I’ve definitely seen you grow in your teaching position. Cher and I can attest to that, we often say how great this job has been for you although tough.
    Don’t be too hard on yourself and think your efforts have all been for nothing. This is a journey and there will be bumps and huge humps along the way. There is also nothing wrong with taking advantage of rest-stops along the way and resuming your journey later.

  7. tintedglasses Says:

    Thanks Mel, I really needed that!

  8. […] Posted by tintedglasses under Health, Life, Uncategorized   The truth is, I was in the pits in January and February. It was a trying time for […]

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