We will rock you

A British man adopted two boys. The Malay boy is older, bigger and stronger. The Chinese boy is scrawny but resourceful. One day the father found the boys standing around some rocks arguing.

DAD: Hiya, you oll rwyt, lads? Wot’s the matter? Wot are you fighting about now?

CB: Ah pa, you remember these rocks in the middle of us? You gave them to me some time ago, then now Kor said the rules have changed and he wants to take them from me. He’s such an Ah Beng.

MB: Ooi kechil! Bapa only said lend you the rocks to play with ok. He didn’t say give you free forever you know. Anyway since now I’m standing closer to them, it’s mine lah! Bodoh!

CB: You rogue! Eh enough already ok! Last time I join your group, then you kick me out. Never mind. I had no friends and I was alone, but heng I survive cos I kiasu about everything. Now I never disturb you, why you come and snatch my rocks?

DAD: Blimey! Hang on luv. Are you lot pissing around? Surely you can’t be arguing about bloody rocks! Look, Daddy’s got betta toys for you to play with. Y’know guns and tanks and missiles and whatnots.

CB: Ah pa, I think that Kor is really too much. He didn’t want to share his water with me; he made me buy from him. I did as I was told. Then he turned the table and ask me to buy from somebody else. He bullies me because I’m small. All the big toys and good things he get already. Why I cannot keep my rocks!?

MB: My dear gila adik, so simple rules also cannot follow. You claim bapa gave you the rocks. Got any black and white to support? No right? So sekalang the rules change. Who stand closer to the rocks who gets them, why you so dumb?

DAD: This is bollocks you two prats. Fancy fighting over juvenile things like these. Daddy’s having a hard time in Iraq and am in deep shit for shooting the wrong terrorist. Give me a break you two.

CB, WB: This is important to us! You’re useless. All you know is stuffing us with fish and chips and marmite on toast. We’re going to get Uncle Swiss to be the judge.

DAD: Well sod you two then. Bugger off and sort yourselves and your stupid rocks. I’m going to have a nice cuppa tea with Uncle Bush at his ranch.

Based on a true story http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/310258/1/.html

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