Squabble over ang pow


I couldn’t believe that I spent more than an hour debating with R last night about ang pow. You see, my girlfriend from secondary school days held her wedding banquet last Friday and I was recounting to R how the event went.

R: “You know, if I was going to have a wedding dinner, I don’t want people to have to give ang pows.”

Me: “But that’s really part of our tradition, you can’t stop people from doing that. Even if you told them not to, there would be some who dude who would insist on doing it, and it might get ugly.”

R: “Well it’s my wedding and I will make the rules. I just want people to come and share my joy, not feel obliged they have to pay for their meal. The greatest gift they can provide would be their time, to grace the occasion.”

I don’t know. The idea seemed pretty radical to me, but I suppose it did make a bit of sense. But I just couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the clock when we ended the debate. Neither of us were going to get married anytime soon, and we just spent all that while on this heated discussion about wedding ang pows. Bloody hell.

There is something I am pleased about though. It was the first time we engaged in such an aggressive exchange of ideas without falling out with each other, like we normally do. Usually the moment we detect any hint of annoyance, we would choose the easy way out. Slam down the phone or walk away.

I used to dislike such heated arguments because I tended to take things personally, and I usually give in and sweep resentment under the carpet. But I recently realised that having differing viewpoints need not be bad. It did not mean you love someone less, and such sparring could actually help the relationship to grow and was actually a lot more healthier for me since I get to voice out my opinions.

Surely there must be a more creative way to get around this ang pow situation. Anyone?

Explore posts in the same categories: Relationship

3 Comments on “Squabble over ang pow”

  1. Mel Says:

    I have thought about this before, usually before I attend any wedding, and I have to agree with R. I always thought it a farce during weddings when everyone starts asking “eh what’s the market rate huh?” Thereafter some proceed to complain “Wah so many weddings this month, damn broke.” I mean why make things so difficult? If I had the means, I would throw a big party so that the people who care for me and whom I love, can gather and have a nice big bash to celebrate the wonderful union, sans ang pow. Of course there are the grandparents and parents who will want to show their happiness by giving some money, I’ll accept that with appreciation but for friends and colleagues, heck it, come drink and be merry!

  2. syrope Says:

    Well, I say do as the Singaporeans do and do as the British do.
    You can tell guests beforehand not to bring any ang pows. But if some still wanna give ang pow, then fine. Accept graciously with a “thank you”. No need to get all huffy puffy on your wedding day by insisting on your own rules. No need to make your guests feel insulted by not taking their money either.
    But if they don’t give any ang pow, then you have your wish.
    The question is my dear, do you kinda wish to get ang pows or not?

  3. shirleen Says:

    eh..no ang pows how to recuperate from paying for all the dinner expenses???? heh

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